GameGuy: The “Carlyle Holiday” Edition

By Mark H. Walker

I yelled my butt off when Notre Dame’s Carlyle Holiday completed his first pass for a touchdown last Saturday. Not only was it proof positive that God is indeed a Catholic, but the drama, excitement, and sheer athleticism of the instant sent a jubilant jolt through my body.

To believe David Coursey --the Executive Editor, of CNET’s AnchorDesk-- future Tony Hawkers, and Unreal Tournament masters, will soon provide me that same jolt. Coursey claims that future game fans will avidly watch gamers play on ESPN, ABC, FOX, or whatever. He feels the intersection of next-generation consoles’ Internet capability and massive software sales figures will lead to a proliferation of online play, that in turn will lead to professional leagues, that in turn will lead to spectating.

I doubt it.

No twitch meister will ever captivate the American heart like Bobby Bonds, Emmitt Smith, or Jeff Gordon. On the diamond, field, or track these men are rare athletes --sacrificing heart, limb, and even life. A few mouse clicks can’t compare. Sorry. I love playing, but watching? I don’t think so.

How Much is Enough?

I can’t wait till the non-gaming press gets hold of this one… A twenty-four year old Korean dies after gaming 86 straight hours. A young Taiwanese man does the same after 32 hours in an Internet café. No mistake… this is sad stuff, and my heart goes out to all that knew them. But the incidents surface two points. Point one… it doesn’t seem likely that extensive gaming can kill someone. If it could, every strategy guide author I know would be dead. Eighty-six hours straight gaming? That’s nothing when you have to work your way through Baldur’s Gate and write a 50,000 word book in one week. There must have been something else at work here… too much coffee, too much beer, too much something.

Point two… why play a game 86 straight hours? Folks lean close… TURN OFF THOSE FREAKING COMPUTERS! The solution to life doesn’t lie in the hills and dales of Everquest. Shut down that CPU, call up a friend, and go grab a beer.

Huzzah Wal-Mart!

So, it looks like Wal-Mart, Toys-R-Us, and KB Toys will pass on BMX XXX. That’s good news --good news on two fronts. Front number one… BMX XXX isn’t an “M” title. The same footage loaded into the game would pop an “R” on a movie. It ought to be the same with the game. Since there isn’t an “R” rated game section at Wal-Mart they don’t need to carry the game.

Front number two… I don’t have a problem with porn. As a young naval officer I hit most of the skin bars in Philly and Boston. But if you are going to make porn, make porn. Do it up right and label it appropriately. If you are going to make a game, make a game… don’t slide in a couple of breasts to pry money from the lonely 13-year old boys on the block. In short, Acclaim… grow up.

© Mark H. Walker, LLC 2001