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By Mark H. Walker
is, the day before Christís birthday. Prompted by Bonnie at Electric Playground
Iíve put together a wish list. Look not for a rhyme or
reason. As with many of my columns, this list concerns not only gaming, but the
gaming life which playing video games is but a small part of. So, for what itís
worth --which, judging by both Internet advertisement rates and my income,
isnít much-- hereís my semi-grownup Christmas list.
Christmas Iíd like:
- Websites and magazines to
require their writers to use their real name instead of silly shit like
- Iíd like the following words
and phrases to be stricken from the English language:
- --except when Iím referring to my wife in a green dress.
- Over the top --except when referring to World War I infantrymen.
- Rocking --except when referring to Def Leppard or Three Doors
--absolutely no exceptions.
- Happy Holidays --call it Christmas ĖIím not asking
anyone to convert to Christianity. It is, however, a historical fact that
Christ lived. This is when we acknowledge his birth. Deal with it.
- Intuitive --except when referring to what my wife and I do in the
privacy of our bedroom.
- Robust --no exceptions.
- Immersive --except when referring to screaming through Turn Nine
at Willow Springs raceway in a T-342 Lola Formula Ford.
- Kicks ass --except when referring to Alan Bass, my high schoolís
resident bad ass.
- Seamless --except when referring to eggs.
- African American --no exceptions --Hey, I donít make
anybody call me Euro-American.
- America to not only win a
military victory in the war on terrorism, but to truly address the
fundamental injustices that spawn it.
- To see more PR reps that
know how to boot the games they represent.
- A real playoff system in
- A great turn-based BattleTech computer game.
- A Mission Critical follow on.
- Editors to learn where the
reply button resides in their email program. You donít have to want my
pitches, but have the common decency to say no.
- Professional athletes who
whine placed in a ďrealĒ job for a month.
- Rappers to lighten the hell
- More women to wear
- To watch more sunsets, tell
more jokes, learn more from my kids, shoot more baskets, play my stereo
louder, be nicer to people, turn off my computer, spend more time drinking
beer with friends, and make lots of good memories. Convenience stores to
close at 11:00 PM, work to start at 9:00 AM, and for everyone to take
daily siestas on a Caribbean beach. For the entire world to stop sweating
the small stuff, slow down, and enjoy each other. Itís our only chance.
- And last, but not least, for
God to bless us one and all.
Christmas, Happy Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah to everyone.
© Mark H. Walker, LLC 2001
Mark H. Walker is a veteran interactive entertainment journalist who has written over 40 books including his recently released Video Games Almanac and The Parentís Guide to PlayStation Games.
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