(A personal note: The more time that goes by, the more the things stay the same. When the orginal shivaSite was closed down, and I became a 'respectable" webmaster, I never dreamed that I would end up exactly where I started. And yet, I'm happy to be back. A year and a half ago, I started shivaSite, on this very same server, because of my love for games. I lost that love, but now, I hope to find it once again.
Its odd that not only do I find myself reviving a old, and unpopular site like shivaSite, but also I am doing another in the series of editorials called "The Truth". Everytime I do one of these, I end up being flooded by hate mail, and yet, no other title fits what I am about to say. So my advanced apologies to any unsuspecting viewers, who haven't read the previous "The Truth" articles.)
One of the first things I had to decide when I decided to write this installment of The Truth was to select a suitable name as a title. The End of Innocence may seem like a odd title for a article like this, but it's a truly appropriate one. This is not about the loss of innocence on my part, nor is it the loss of innocence on any individual's part, it's the loss of innocence on the entire Gaming Community's part. Just like a child, who has grown up, and realized that there is more to life than being protected by mommy and daddy, the game web community has grown up, and has come to the slow realization that the days of being shielded from life's evil is over, and that it is time to either dance with the devil, or face it in defiance.
As a member of that community, I have done both. When I first started this website, nearly a year and a half ago, I did it fully with the hopes and dreams of a small child. I faced the trials and tribulations of this website, with the belief that what I was doing was based on pure motives, and was solely for the love of gaming. When I saw what I perceive as an injustice, I stood up, and made a stand, whether it was from a basis of being right, or from being wrong. It is with great sadness that I write to you now, because I am no longer that person.
My experiences within the web community since the death of shivaSite has been less than pleasant. The circumstances of the demise of this site, also set the groundwork for the demise of the "old" shiva, and instead, replaced it with a "new" shiva totally devoid of personality, and the sense of justice from long ago. Now, I find myself at a junction in my "life", as I must now decide who I am, and where will I go. The new shiva has found that becoming a "adult" brings "adult" problems, and the child still within me cries in despair.
Like any normal child, I had dreams. I wanted to become part of a community, to be respected, and to share my love for games. I thought that I had attained my goals, when I merged my second website, Ancient Nation, with Falcon and GameSurge. At the beginning, I had joined a small, but very respectable website, with a great staff, and to be hosted by a well know, and highly regarded name server in GameFan. That dream has become a bad nightmare, and like all bad nightmares, you cannot wake up, you just end up riding it till the end.