It's 10:30pm Friday night. What's it time for? Exsqueeze me? Baking
powder? Did you say Hawaii Five-O reruns. I think NOT. In Aurora Illinois,
it's time for Cable Access Channel Ten and Wayne's World. I'm your excellent
host Wayne Campbell, and with me as always is Garth. It's Wayne's World. It's
Wayne's World. It's Party Time. It's Excellent. Woo Woo Woo Woo Woo.
Okay.
You'll Laugh, You'll Cry, You'll Hurl!
Are you ready for this? Number One of the Top Ten Most Bizarre Things to
Happen This Year: Garth has been kidnapped! No WAY, you say? Hway!! It all
begins down at Noah's Arcade, where Wayne & Garth are engrossed (with a capital
G) in a most heinous game called Zantar. All of a sudden there's a blinding
flash, and Ka-Boom! The two find themselves inside the game! IN the wink of an
eye, the hapless Garth is inhaled by Zantar, the gelatinous cube - a pixelated
purple putridosity of the first degree! Before our stunned hero can react,
Zantar is gone... and Garth along with him. And no you, Wayne Campbell, must
heartily rescue your excellent sidekick from a fate most unbecoming!
But as you make your way through your familiar and beloved hangouts in
search of Garth, you'll notice something disturbingly different. This world is
twisted, warped, and distorted version of reality as you know it! Armed with
your mighty guitar and the power the SCHWING, you must brave the surrealistic
perils of Kramer's Music Store, Stan Mikita's Donut Shop, the Gasworks night
club, and surburbia. There, you will spar with such Dweeboids as monster
bagpipes, accordions, and kazoos (shyeah, rright!), spewing coffee cups and
dangerous Disco balls (as if!), hair-whipping headbangers and a strange Psycho
Hose Beast (way!)
HELLO? Are you worthy to face this mega-challenge without Blowing Chunks?
Then party on, my friend, to the most excellent finish!
Starting Up
To start the game, press the Start Button (as if you didn't know, and don't
get mental now!) To Pause the game press the Start Button (you're going to have
to cope, okay).
Game Controls
Control Pad
*Press Left or Right in order to run Left or Right (good work, my friend).
*You can also change direction during a jump (believe and visualize to do so).
*Press the Control Pad Down in order to Duck (but be careful not to cut).
B Button
*Press in order to Jump.
*Press down & hold down longer in order to Jump higher.
Warning: Do not try this after eating the Mystery Meat).
Y Button
*Press in order to fire the guitar in your hands.
Note: Make guitar sounds with mouth to supplement affect.
A Button
*Press in order to activate a Schwing Item, if you have one (silent scream!).
Screen Display
1. The Score is displayed in the upper left corner of the screen (absolutely).
2. The Axe or PCB Power Ups are displayed next to the score, if they are
possessed (yes!).
3. The Guitar in use is displayed next to the stuff mentioned above (okay).
4. The Schwing Item, if possessed, is shown next to the above mentioned stuff
(fact).
5. The number of Lives is shown in the upper right hand corner of the screen
(amazing choice).
6. The amount of Worthiness is shown next to the number of Lives (how worthy
can You get)).
Special Items
These Items can be found in Every level:
1. Schwing Item
*A Schwing Item will destroy all visible enemies (ka-boom.)
2. Worthiness Item
*A Worthiness Item will give 1 Worthiness Point (I AM worthy, I AM worthy).
3. Heart Item
*A Heart Item will give 1 extra Life (I am thanking you).
These Items are used in conjunction with another guitar (how sensible):
4. Axe Guitar Item
*An Axe guitar Item increases the playing rate by 2 (okay, don't become an
axe-aholic).
5. PCB Guitar Item
*A PCB (Pre-Corporate Buyout) guitar Item increases the playing rate by 3.
Power Ups
Level One Power Ups
These Power Ups are found throughout Kramer's music store and subsequent
levels (it's like a dream: diddie, liddle la, diddle liddle la, diddle liddle
la):
1. Amp Power Up
*An Amp Power Up produces large chords (should be played fast and loud.)
2. Distortion
*A Distortion Power Up produces chords that follow a distorted path (twisted).
Level Two Power Ups
1. Mega Amp Power Up
*A Mega Amp Power Up produces huge chords (as in mega-: the prefix meaning huge,
extraordinary, great).
2. Chorus Power Up
*Plays 3 chords at once! Wailing I am the reincarnation of Hendrix!
Level Three Power Up
1. Homer Power Chord
*A Homer Power Up produces chords which home in on any enemy on the screen.
Levels
Level One: Kramer's Music Store
Okay. This looks like the same music store in which hangs the much-
maligned sign reading "No Stairway to Heaven" and where Wayne's coveted guitar
once hung, but something seems to have to have gone awry.... in a big WAY.
Instruments of the craziest variety are suddenly animated and on the warpath
against Wayne. He'll have to navigate crazy scaffolding, bouncing off of drums
and avoiding live wires in order to dodge killer Kazoos and bagpipe enemies, to
name a few.
5. Clarinet Missiles
*Launched from off the screen (one hit and you're pale, my friend).
6. Drums
*Excellent bounce action (boing!)
7. Falling Guitars
*Falling from the racks, can do damage to you and your guitar (cruel & unusual).
8. Kazoos
*Swarms will home in and dive bomb in a kazoo sort of way (kooky but cool).
9. Sax Mortar
*Fires spit gobs (it's punitive).
10. Trombone Grabber
*Reaches down and grabs (not today, my saucy friend!).
11. Wires
*Touch'em and you're toast (a shocking prospect).
Level 2: Stan Mikita's Donut Shop
Okay. This is the land of mutant day-old donuts, scalding grease and
spewing coffee. And it's like "Honey, I shrunk the Wayne" Everything is
oversized (what a time for the babes to be absent). Falling sugarcubes could be
lethal. The grossness herein is majorly huge, as various donut monsters do
disgusting things to get at Wayne. He'll want to hurl for sure. Extreme.
Level 2 Adversaries
1. Coffee Cups
*They lurk & spew (diabolical).
2. Creamers
*Up, up and a Wayne! (high bounce-osity).
3. Cruller
*Roll out the cruller!
4. Donut Monster
*Hocks donut gobs (an abhorrent military option).
5. Donut Whirlwind
*Whirls and picks up stuff (as if!).
6. Falling Sugar Cubes
*Consider these a sorbet, to help cleanse the palette.
7. Grease
*Hot and burning (not to mention putrid).
8. Grease Donut Monster
*Can get you bad (if you get sick, go see a doctor, my friend).
9. Steam Blasts
*More hot & burning (could leave you comatose).
Level 3: Gas Works
Okay. Over at their favorite entertainment establishment, Wayne is
surprised to be caught in a cavernous court of video games, pool tables, air
hockey, dangerous dart boards, shooting disco balls and giant, six-legged
beatles. Anything might happen here.... even an Elvis sighting is possible!
Level 3 Adversaries
1. Bar Stool
*Again with the bouncing (a top ten enemy...NOT!)
2. Beatles
*Who's the quiet one again?
3. Bouncer
*A very large man who could hurt you (hold onto your hurl).
4. Darts
*Dangerous, yes (but only to a point).
5. Disco Balls.
*Shoot out destructive rays (and Barry Manilow flashbacks).
6. Gas Jets
*Shoot plumes of fire (whoa! Pyromania!).
7. Head Banger
*Excellent cranial motion (he should be resoundingly slapped).
8. Heavy Metal Head
*Don't touch his fiery tongue (the "Kiss" of doom).
9. Pyscho Hose Beast
*What a babefest..... NOT!
10. Rock 'N Roll Boot
*Stomps out gimps (a definite public safety risk).
11. Yellow Sub
*Fires homing torpedoes (John is the father, Paul is the mother, Ringo is the
child, but I digress).
Level 4: Surburbia
Suddenly, Wayne finds himself back in the old neighborhood. (Shyeee
eeeeeahhhh RRigggghhht!) The streets look familiar, the mailboxes, fire
hydrants, street lights... they look the same, but somehow different. Could it
be because they are floating in the air about a million miles away from the
ground? Likely. Wayne is closer than ever to finding his buddy, but the
bizarreness isn't over yet.
Level 4 Adversaries
1. Ducks
*Get the net!
2. Garbage Cans
*Bounce action again (reminiscent of soup whiff).
3. Lawn Sprinklers
*We're schwinging in the rain...!
4. Mail Boxes
*Generally larger and more aggressive than female boxes.
5. Suck Cut Guy
*Not MY hair, you gimp!
6. Wires
*Remember these from the music store? (if at first you don't succeed...fry, fry
again).
Who - or what - is the mysterious purple pest called Zantar?
_________________________________________________________________________________________
"Wayne's World Instruction Manual"
Converted to ASCII text by Elendil022@aol.com
