un dead
by HonestJon

In the background: sexy dudes and sexy chicks "duking it out" in front of the TV... loud music... group sex optional, but definitely helps...]

Well, with more and more info about the Nintendo Dophin and Song Playstation2 leaking along nicely, and Sega's Dreamcast making a big bang, this is the best time as ever to consider throwing away your closest and most trusted pal for the last 2 or 3 years and get another young new sexy toy. But which one? That's the question dude (chick). Better think twice, cause a nasty divorce can really help straighten that back of yours by emptying your wallet. Could even end up vaporizing ya cash instead of ya weed. Being naturally nice (especially to suckers=), we [insert company], will make the choice very easy for ya. With our [insert propergender]... we will blow away all the competition (along with your cash of course)... As for those of you filthy rich people (using the term loosely) who just can't seem to decide, we have the solution for you too! Just go out and buy all three! Simple hey? Just buy buy buy. The more the merrier, after all, nothing beats a big orgy...

So... What do you want to buy today?™ Is it in you?™ Are you game?™

[end of commercial]

You may wonder who is dumb enough to actually listen to that crap? But I wonder who is strong enough not to. Like, how can you look your friends in the eye when they are all blowing up Xmillion polygons shit at 60fs and you are still dicking around with your rusted and busted 32bit system-of-last-year? For god sake, you shall be ashamed of yourself dude (chick). If I were you, I would have killed myself a long time ago and fed the bones to the homeless dogs. Just how can you? How can you stand the frame rate... the speed... the pixels... the picture... the action... are you out of your mind (must have played too much hey, heheh)? HOW CAN YOU?

Yeah, how can you?

Most people can't, myself no exception. But asking yourself this won't hurt: do you really need that blazing hot piece of hardware? Hmmm damnit, of course you do. Yeah, it's like how can anyone go back to a 56k modem after using cable or adsl? In fact, it's way more additive. Seems that the vendors must have sprayed nicotine around the new systems before showing them off to the eager suckers.

So there ain't much we can do about it after all, is there? Let's face it, we are all just a bunch of hippies living in self-denial. We weak earthings can't even control our own mind, let alone our world. We are destined to lust after anything they throw at us, anything. If everyone's jumping into the sea, I can promise you WE will follow. And follow is pretty much all we can do.

Before you go burn up your existing systems or kill yourself, why not think about donating it to some rip-off charity or whatever? Maybe an open house? I am sure they won't mind sharing your "burden". Hey, they may even say thank you. How about that? And for the dudes out there, don't you think that's a far more constructive way to impress the chicks than say, actually try to show off how good you're at playing games (and bored the shit out of them)... just a thought...